Karma I think has struck.

Why is it, that we neglect those that appreciate us, and tend to bend over backwards to please people who don't respect us?

I think the Japanese got it right. Even if someone despises you with every fiber of their being, they'll still give you respect until you do something to not deserve it (in which case its your responsibility to restore that respect...not theirs).

(Warning: what you are about to read is laced with some venting. So emotional stress can make the statements seem cruel or harsh)

My roomie is a very selfish person. Don't get me wrong. He's a nice guy, but he doesn't respect me. The worse part is he doesn't realize he doesn't respect me. I pick him up from work everyday. I hang out with him all the time to keep him from getting bored, and run him where ever he needs to go for errands and what not. Should I need to do something though, I get nothing but grief to the point where he makes me late for whatever engagement i'm attempting to get to.

He tells me he appreciates the things I do for him. I think he's unintentionally lying. He doesn't respect me. We have very little in common. He watches shows that I find mentally appauling. Like pretty much everything on eMpTyV, and VH1. He listens to R&B and pop. His idea of hanging out and having fun with friends is an odd form of mingling, drinking alcohol, and preferably being in a heavily social setting surrounded by people he doesn't necessarily know, nor care to be around.

I watch SciFi, and pretty much 95% of the shows I like, he has no desire to watch. So I change the channel for him to try to find something we both like. He gets upset when I don't want to watch the shows he's watching.

I listen to lots of music, including rock and heavy metal. He accuses my music of being "negative angry music" which for the most part he's correct. But its an outlet for me. Either way I try to turn the radio to something we both like, and it ends up being black eyed peas or some such nonsense that my brain is starting to rebel against. (just proof that i'm not designed to think fluffy thoughts...especially about a chicks lovely lumps.)

I don't mind going out from time to time, but I have a budget I have to maintain. I don't like drinking anymore, and the last thing I want to do is associate with sicofants. I've chosen my friends wisely over the last decade, and I trust them. Needless to say, my roomie doesn't like rpgs, computer games, or anime. So he doesn't want to hang out with my friends. (Cuz drinking and gambling seem to be more amusing?!?)

I've attempted to bring up alternatives to find decent association or things to do when hanging out, but all my ideas are shot down. He doesn't even try anymore.

Now of course this just bakes my bacon even more because I broke off an association with someone that had far more in common with me, and appreciated my time far more. Why did I do this? Because of some very complicated and at most psychotic circumstances. I've come to realize i'm not exactly the most stable person in the world, and my emotions tend to run me over. Part of that is this annoying bottling in thing I do instead of just speaking my mind or getting stuff off my chest.

Damage is done though. Now I just need to tactfully inform my current roomie that our current arrangement is not going to be able to continue, and then move on with my life and find another roomie. I'd live by myself but i'm in the process of paying off certain utilities that I find essential. (Like power, and cable)

.....CABLE IS TOO ESSENTIAL DAMMIT!!!!

"I need to jump over the moon..."
~rent

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat lots, and work it off later. =)

"We'd like to give thanks to the indians. Whom we came, gave diseases, killed thier people, and stole thier lands. You guys are awesome!"

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

blah blah blah..all lies!!!

Clown suits?!?

Its 1:40am and i'm awake rather suddenly thanks to a bout of food poisoning. Carl's Jr's new portobello mushroom burgers are gooooooood...but not so much coming back up. So after that was finished with, I found that laying back down didn't seem very appealing.

Hop on computer, kick back in thrown, pet my kitty cat, and log onto yahoo. Low and behold I get to chat with my ever nocturnal friend (we'll call him Juan because its fun to pronounce and is nothing like his actual name) Juan. We have a almost decade old joke going about his parents having sex....in clown suits (hence the title of today's post).

I always like talking to Juan. He has good things to say (or just very realistic), and of course finds a way to get me laughing so hard that I think i'm gonna have a heart attack.

Who needed a liver anyway?

So this weekend was going fantastic, until my migrain decided it was going to completely debilitate me on sunday morning. I woke up to pain. So some IBprofen and hydrocodone later, its still making my brain short circuit. The usual supliments didn't even phase it.

So my mom came over and brough a darvaset (not sure if I spelled it correctly). I forced down some speghetti and took the pill. It got me to the point that if I laid still enough I could actually close my eyes and attempt to sleep. Problem is, everything under the sun was able to wake me up. Heck, I could hear my cat walking through the hall...how creepy is that.

Now i've woken up this morning and my stomach is rebelling against the pain killers, and i'm on another hydrocodone in hopes that I won't have to take another darvaset. The worst part is my roomie is like,"If you had insurance..." and my response is,"...they'd just give me painkillers...which i'm taking right now."

The Burning Tiraid

So world of warcraft has released some information on thier new expansion. Looks pretty kewl so far. Blood elves are making me question my loyalty to the alliance though. They can absorb magic like a freakin vampire, and then use it to revitalize thier mana, rage or energy. WTF...I really hope the alliance race is that amazing.

Even if it turns out to be Pandaren, as long as they are done well, i'll be happy. Although, mind you...I don't want Pandaren.

The outlands opens up a realm of infinite possibility for game expansion. As does the Caverns of Time. Very smart move on blizzards part. You will be able to partake in the battles of the past.

What the hell happened to heroic classes?!?

Back in the saddle.

I got my website back up and running. New look and all that. My guild is also reformed on the Hellscream server. Feels good again.

So they say Blood Elves might be one of the new playable races in the warcraft expansion (whenever that is gonna come out..who knows). They are horde. SUX!!! I wanna play one so badly...they are kewl

Anyway. I'll get to that road later. For now i'm just trying to get my warlock to level 60. Would be nice to actually be able to run raids hehe.

Sheltered people

So I have a friend who's never seen the Lord of the Rings series. Not to mention, he owns every Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elmstreet (including the TV series), but has yet to see any of the Hellraiser movies.

So Dave and me have subjected him to the first two movies of LotR so far. Like a crack addict...I think he's hooked MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Bizzare Weekend

I have to work today. It makes my whole weekend feel funny. I haven't really been in the mood to do anything.

It's taking forever for my direct deposit to go through too. So i'm still getting mailed my checks, which like to decide they won't arrive until monday on weekends when I need them by friday (go figure).

Razzlfrazzle!!!

It wasn't the CD-Rom Drive.

I replaced the CD burner with a new one and the Windows install bombed at the same percent again. So I replaced the hard drive again! Then it bombed again. At this point I was tired, hungry and frustrated beyond belief.

I removed one of the RAM sticks, and it bombed at 30%. So I swapped the sticks and Vwing! It installed. It was the ram the whole time. How evil!

Winblows through computer hell.

My objective was simple. Replace my dad's hard drive, and install a OEM copy of Windows XP Pro that I had purchased from Fry's. His computer is over 3 years old and thus the hard drive he had was forming bad sectors (at least it did just out right fail, but it was almost as bad since it hosed his email).

The hard drive was cake. Dell computers rock with thier hardware layout. They have the plastic guard rails that let you just pop a component out instead of having to unscrew it from the frame. Took all of 2 minutes to do that. w00t!

So with it all hooked up and air dusted off, I insert the Windows CD, and start the setup process. It gets to 80% copying setup files, and KABLOOEY!

"There was an error trying to copy file somethingoranother.dll. Would you like to retry, skip, or just give up you stupid mortal?"

So I hit retry. "Resistance if futile Error." WTF!?! So I skip. Next file, Error. Next File, Error. *Smashes head into desk repeatedly.

So I call for backup. Jaime shows up with another version of windows...the type of version that doesn't have boot files on it. So we do another trip back to his place and get his emergency boot disk, and another copy of windows. Third time's the charm right?

So with some russian boot disk drive letter swapping fun, I stop that nonsense and use the Windows Media Center edition of XP disk we brought (of course I figured my OEM CD key wasn't gonna work but I didn't care much at that point.

Copying setup files...........80% DING "Silly mortal, Tricks are for kids."

AAARRRGGG!!! So it wasn't the copy of windows. It was his CD ROM going nucking futs! By this point it as almost 9pm. I was tired, and here it is 4am which came all too quickly. Today I get to try again. I'll be putting in a new CD ROM (I think i'll go nuts and get him a DvD Burner mwa hahahaha!!!!)

Awesome weekend

Picked my roomie up from the airport. Did some photoshop work, and getting another web project going. Lots of fun!

I have to work sunday (which is technically today since its after midnight). Its only a 4 hour shift, and from what my coworkers tell me its non-stop busy. I like that. The day goes by faster when there's no downtime. Plus the calls I take are challenging. It's always something new, and often requires some real thought behind figuring out what these people are actually asking for LOL.

example: "Yah, I can't get my database to replicate (replication is a term used for Lotus Notes, since it uses a 'replicator' page for downloading databases to a local copy)."

"Okay, no problem, let me remote into your system and i'll take a look at your lotus notes databases."

"Okay"

Remote process completed

"Okay, i'm showing your lotus notes replicate just fine."

"Oh, its not in lotus notes. My synchronization for my other program isn't working."

"Uh, okay. Sorry, you said replicate, and I assumed lotus notes. And since you didn't say anything after I mentioned i'd look at your lotus notes, I figured that is what you were having a problem with."

"Oh, so that page that says replicator page is what you guys think of when we say replicating? I just call everything that. heh."

(Now mind you, I should have probed and asked what program they were having a problem with)

-=Next Call=-

"Yah i'm getting an error message with my email." (all of them use lotus notes for email, but what the hell right?)

"No problem. What program are you using for email?"

"What do you mean no problem? And what kind of stupid question is that? We all use Lotus notes!"

(troubleshooting commences while the user continues to let me know how stupid I am)

-=Next Call=-

"Yah i'm getting an error message when I try to download my email."

"No problem. Let me remote in." (clickity click click) "Your email seems to be replicating fine."

"Oh its not in lotus notes. I was talking about my outlook express program." (duh..of course you were.)

"I'm sorry, we don't support the use of that program. Per ...(interupted by babbling client)"

"What?! How the heck am I supposed to get my personal email then? This is redicul(interupted by annoyed support tech)."

"Per Security Policy you are not authorized to use that program. Your equipment is not for personal use, and is company provided. The use of non-standard programs is a violation of terms of use."

"Non-standard? It comes installed on the computer."

"Yes, and on the documentation you recieved that was placed inside the lid of the laptop it explains that the program was disabled and is not authorized. You had to do something to enable it again, which means you used non-standard unauthorized software to hack your company computer for personal use."

"But my manager gave me the program."

"So he's involved as well?"

"Um...how about you just remove it for me, and leave it at that."

"Sure thing. I'd be happy to remove all non-standard software from the laptop. I'll even back up your email for you so you can save it to disk and put it on a personal computer."

"Thanks!"

(I'm such a nice guy.)

Beta whore

So far i've gotten into 2 online beta's in the last week. Both very good games. So in response i've began updating my online gaming guild website.

Of course its been so long since i've used frontpage and photoshop that I had to brush back up on a few skillz the hard way hehe. It was fun killing everything a few times.

You can access my forums at http://www.ironalliance.com/forums

That is just in case the front end of my site dies horribly.

Paradox

I am taking my roomie to the airport this morning. Then I get to be in the apartment by myself for a week. Lots and lots to do though.

I'm at a loss as to what else to put here though. So I figured i'd just update this for the sake of updating. =)

How is your day going?

Something to think about...you decide how your day is going regardless of what has happened. My day is fantastic!!!

Cough of Doom

So annoying. I have this cough thing. I was doing "okay" (except the nausea, and breathing problems), but now this cold is getting on my nerves.

=( stupid transition of seasons.

On the road again.

Weeeeeeeeee. I'm moving again today. I'm excited. I get a bigger room for my stuff, and I get to be on a ethernet connection again instead of a wireless one.

Wireless wasn't bad, just something kept disconnecting me every 20-30 minutes and so gaming was a pain in the butt.

If any of you need computer work, or know somebody who does, i'm going to be starting a side business of servicing computers for people.

-Adware/spyware removal
-Virus removal/Antivirus checkup
-Performance Maintenance
-Desktop Design Requests
-Remote support

$150 for 3 months service, includes:
2 physical visits a month no charge (service fee is $35 after that)
10 Remote desktop connections ($10 for every 2 after that)

Advanced services are negotiable but are not included in the service package above.

Zoink!!

I graduated from the PSI basic seminar last night. Wonderful stuff. Lots of you guys showed up to support me, and that is awesome. Thank you!

Now what's next?

I'm moving this weekend. Man I love moving (not). Hehe..but its all good. With the ethernet connection i'll have available, I'll be able to mess with linux a bit more.

I'm a jerk.


This is not a cop out. Its just a cold hard fact I have recently faced more fully than I ever have. Its not an excuse, and I make no reasons for it. Because that would not be facing up to it. It would be accepting it instead of doing something about it.

Of course i'm apologetic, but that won't change the fact either. It is something I have to deal with. So I ask you guys this. As my friends, I ask that you don't stay silent. Call me on my stuff. Support me in wanting to change that aspect. When I spaz out, when I demand control, when I flake out and don't follow my word no matter how simple that promise was...say something. Don't remain silent. If you do this for me, I may get angry with you then, but I will thank you for it later.

I feel like there is no need for conversation.
some questions are better left, without reason.
I would rather reveal myself than my, situation.
Now and then I consider my hesitation.

The more the light shines through me, I pretend to close my eyes.
The more the dark consumes me, I pretend i'm burning...burning bright.

I wonder if the things I did, where just to be different.
To spare myself all the constant shame of my, existence.
I would surely redeem myself in my, desperation.
Here and now i'll express, My situation.

the more the light shines through me, I pretend to close my eyes.
the more the dark consumes me, I pretend i'm burning bright.
the more the light shines through me, I pretend to close my eyes.
the more the dark consumes me, I pretend i'm burning bright.

There's nothing ever wrong, but nothings ever right.
Such a cruel contradriction.
I know i've crossed the line. Its not easy to define.
I'm born to indecision.
There is always something new, some path i'm supposed to choose,
with no particular rhyme or reason.

the more the light shines through me, I pretend to close my eyes.
the more the dark consumes me, I pretend i'm burning bright.
the more the light shines through me, I pretend to close my eyes.
the more the dark consumes me, I pretend i'm burning...

I feel like there is no need for, conversation....

~Shinedown, burning bright

A rollercoaster built to crash

Its such an appropriate phrase. I've been fighting with a continuous migrain for 3 weeks now. The longest one i've had ever. Although its not always trying to kill me. Sometimes its just simmering on low, which just makes me sick to my stomach and kills my appetite while making me see spots if I get exposed to too much light. Joy.....dain bramage.

Job is going GREAT!!! I'm so blessed to have this job. Everything is happening so fast right now. I'll be filing bankrupcy soon. I got my dad to help me find a decent attourney for it. He should have something for me today.

I'm gonna be moving over the next 2 and a half weeks. I'll be allot closer to work....gas money savings$$$

I've been playing City of Heroes allot lately. I preorderd City of Villains. I'm going to be reorganizing and reforming my guild for the launch of it in November. So if any of you are interested goto www.ironalliance.com and check out my latest post.

Oh...and I took this quiz I found on Baby Eaters blog:

Welcome to the first level of hell.

Those were the words uttered to me at work today. My first day that is. I am not intimidated though. I've worked jobs like this before and realize, that liking or disliking this job is all in your choice and perception. You choose to hate it or like it (or even both).

Needless to say, the person who spoke this negative phrase generally has only negative things to say in general.

Grain of salt aside...I had a blast today. Lots of information to absorb. Got a gauge of my supervisors, and of course got the rundown of other people's opinions of them as well. Another point I tend to believe on people making things out to be allot worse than they really are.

One of my sup's has been labeled as a micromanaging stick up his butt kinda guy. I find that if you do your job well, those people tend to seem less like that too you. Mind you...a power trip is a power trip, and those people will still tend to put preasure on you, but even then, you attract less attention than the guy they are getting screamed at about by upper management because he/she didn't fill out a trouble ticket correctly, etc.

Got to "shadow" some calls (where I sit next to someone, and listen to their call through another headset, while making odd scribbles on a note sheet). Although there was a network outage so I didn't get to hear too much of regular troubleshooting, I did get to find out that the intellect of the users i'll be supporting is no smarter than any other job i've worked at.

"Yah, I heard that IVR message on the network being down, but can I connect to my email?"

Gotta love em.