Zero Sum

So years ago I had this friend. She is amazing. Have you ever met one of those people that are smart, quick witted, and extremely honest (sometimes at the cost of tact)? That would be her.

Often over the last few years i've pondered on how much I miss this friend. I've tried emailing her, instant messaging her, etc. Sadly, it seems as if she no longer wishes to associate with me.

Since the last time I officially talked to her, she has gotten married, lost a relative, and gotten pregnant. She also spent a significant amount of time in Law School (which is sooo awesome).

Negative thoughts toward her have NEVER crossed my mind (she is just that awesome).

Then the other day, a small little troll whispered something in my ear. ...and I feel like a piece of crap. I am the worst friend ever!

You see awhile back she got me this really neat job at a museum. She worked there as well, and used some of her pull with management to get me in. I worked all of a month and a half. Then in my extremely lame way, quit. Did I mention i'm lame?

This discredited her reputation with management. Later she needed to help some other friends out, and was not able to do so. I tarnished her reputation with her employer. If I were her, I wouldn't talk to me anymore either. Looking back at my life, I can be pretty certain this was not the only incident that ticked her off.

I've come to the realization how badly I treated her. I can't appologize enough. Yes, i'll even admit I cried over it (I have very few people I consider a true friend...so realizing I lost one due to my own idiocy, really hurts).

...so where did all this suddenly come from?

Since I converted to LDS, i've been reviewing my life rather heavily. Mostly how i've treated my friends. Lets just say i'm not too thrilled with myself as a person. If any of you are reading this, and feel i've commited some sort of injustice, or slight against you, please..let me know. I'd love the opportunity to make amends (but should you decide i'm not worth the time for that, I understand, and accept it).

To all of you, I'm sorry.

FRUNK!

Chinese Youths Crazy for English Alphabet Tattoos
"The guy at the tattoo shop told me this means brave and proud warrior in English," said beaming Beijing teenager Hao Tsang as he pointed to the letters GARF freshly inked onto his left bicep. "It's perfect for me because I am very bold and confident, yet spiritual."

Tsang's friend Yuan Chi Hao also went under the needle for some English language characters. "Mine simply says FRUNK. The letters are so beautiful and flow so smoothly into each other. The word actually means old soul with young spirit in English. How cool is that?"

Apparently, very cool.

Throngs of Chinese youths are flocking to tattoo parlors looking to colorfully emboss their bodies with "meaningful" English language words.

"I couldn’t decide between CRYMPH or DLECH," said Chengdu high school student Mingmei Lee. "I know they both mean beautiful flower dancing in the wind in American, but I can't decide what looks prettier."

This strange trend mirrors a popular body art movement in the US where many Americans — especially professional basketball players and young celebrities — get Chinese language characters tattooed on their bodies. Many believe the Chinese characters add an air of spirituality to their beings and help present them as enlightened individuals who respect and admire foreign cultures.

A.J. McLean of the man-band Backstreet Boys proudly displayed his fresh ink after leaving a popular LA tattoo parlor. "Check it out," said the very excited singer as he pointed to the characters on his left forearm. "My man just hooked me up with some mad asian ink! He says it means wise wolf that guards the pack. That’s totally me dawg… I take care of my boys. Cool dat!"

Upon further investigation, the characters were found to actaully mean dog ass.

"Listen, these Hollywood hotshots come in here every night wanting something foreign and deep. I only know how to do about twenty Chinese characters and I have no idea what they mean. But who the hell cares? They just look neat. I make up meanings like precious gem floating in pond. Dumb chicks hopped up on ex really go for that one," said burly ex-marine tattoo artist Jake McNaughton with a hearty laugh.

Beijing tattoo artist Johnny Chang echoed the sentiments of his American counterpart, "Kids are stupid. Funny nonsense tattoos make me laugh ha ha. I take letters from American soda cans and candy wrappers and rearrange them into words. GWIPO is my number one favorite. TWARP is also pretty lucky good!"

I am trying to believe

Year Zero


Parepin affects brain chemistry--specifically dopamines.
Dopaminergic overactivity is linked to schizophrenia. Parepin dosage
is not controlled. It’s just in the water. The more water you drink, the
more parepin you ingest. It seems possible that some individuals are more sensitive to
Parepin, and that others are ingesting more because of their lifestyle.

It does not seem to me coincidental that this wave of sightings has occurred since
Parepin was added to the water. Parepin may make some people
more susceptible to visions and hypnagogic
hallucinations (those very vivid dreams you have when you think you are
awake.)

Wasteland

This weekend i'm going out to Fallon to visit my mother. She's awesome, but sadly having some problems with my step-dad.

He's deluded himself into thinking there is nothing wrong with their marrage, and she's made the effort to see a counselor. He'll have no part in it. This of course leads to divorce.

I'm hoping it doesn't go that far.

I'm trying to find a house for rent in the southwest (around flamingo and buffalo area...within 5 miles at least). So if any of you know of a place, let me know.

CLICK ME!!!!

I'm rediculously ill today. I can't breath and its annoying. Its that fun bronchail infectious suffocating feeling.

On a funnier note, my roomie Somania had his dad and stepmom over...and my apartment manager graciously locked their vehicles in the office parking area.

So they have been entertained as my guests until security shows up. So this evening has been rather amusing so far.

I don't really have too much to write about yet. Either way..click the subject link that says "click me"...you'll hate me for it.

What's an Elko

So last week is over with and the new week begins. I'm awake this morning and all I can think of is that I want to sleep, and not wake up anytime soon.

I can't seem to get enough sleep lately (like the last 6 months). Really bad insomnia. My doctors have given me various medications to help with that but they are usually rediculously powerful anti-depressents, that make it very difficult to make it through the rest of the day after I wake up. (you know..that chemically sleepy feeling)

I haven't taken a single medication in a week and a half. Not even for my migrains. I'm not spurning medications, but lets just say i'm a tad sick of taking more pills than most 50 year olds.

Scythius is out of the hospital. That is a ton of anxiety finally relieved. I hope the rest of the week goes well.