Today is writers block day.

Even when I finally posted something (after deleting pages and pages of post), the system regurgitated and destroyed it. Today's posts were just not meant to be. I think i'll reflect for a day on the things i've found.

Writers block.

I'm just completely shut down today. I can't friggin write. I've deleted pages of blog post. Its all BLARG!!!!!

So much I want to say, and I just fucking can't!!! Not that I have any reservations from posting on here. Just that I don't think anything I say is justified, says what I want it to say, and is just too fucking long!!!!

Its monday. Not just in physical context, but metaphorically as well. Its fucking monday.

Diverticulosis/itis

Its that not so fun disease that old people get that makes them unable to eat solid food. If they do, thier colon goes nucking futs and they begin to vommit violently.

So that is what Steve has. =( It sucks allot, but at least now we have a name for it. Plus, its curable/treatable with surgery. So...at least its not permanent, but if not taken care of soon, it could be fatal.

When he goes into his fits of projectile vomit, it destroys his blood sugar levels and dehydrates him (he can't even keep water down). So if we aren't able to bring it under control, it will kill him. This is teh sux.

But...now we have knowledge. Knowledge in this case truelly is power.

On a positive note...i'm moving...again. This time the place is mine. MINE MINE MINE!!!

Mind you..i'll have 2 room mates. Steve, and Jeremy. And the place is thiers too. But for once its "me" choosing who lives with "me", not me being chosen. I know it sounds kind of odd, but for me it feels a thousand times better. I've been at the mercy of other people for far too long. My roomies will be good. Steve and me get along great, and don't have any issues at all, and Jeremy has been my friend forever (and I know his living habbits already). Plus...he's a cook. He cooks amazing food at that. He tends to talk allot, but i'll deal with that over a reclusive silent anti-social roomie anyday. (No offense to previous reclusive silent anti-social roomies i've had in the past...just you know...um....i'll shut up now)

I've been taking a break from warcraft. I needed to clear my head. I've been in one of my "downers" for the last month. Top it off with a little bit of unhappiness with my living situation, and other stresses (like my neck having a naughty defiant disk), and its just been a little much.

So for now..with my apartment approved and good to go, I feel a relief i've not felt in quite awhile. Like a great weight has just been lifted from me. I still have that whole "car payment and outrageous insurance" thing for the next Five frickin years...but my little deceptikia is worth it. ;)

The other car

I had to turn in my Elantra. As much as I loved that car, it was too expensive. Now I have a car a tad more affordable for the time being. Its a Kia Rio. The only word I can think of (and it seems to ring the same for others) is that the car is "cute".

The dark side of me finds that description to be rather repulsive. So i'll just have to deck it out a little bit. I have a nice decepticon decal I could put up in the back window >:)

Although I hesitate to do that because this summer's heat may permanently etch it into the glass. I don't want to depreciate the value of the car much, so in a year or so I can turn that around and trade it in for something else, or refinance it.

New Car Smell

So I went to Enterprise yesterday (i'd highly recommend them over a dealer). I have a 2005 Hundai Elantra. Me...got financed at a very decent price. WTF!?!

Its a very nice car, and I'm even having a lojack installed on it. (that prevents thieves from hiding my car anywhere)

Now...I just need to tell me dad. =( He doesn't really trust any purchases I make, especially if I have to sign my name on something.

Do the dance!

Most MMO's out there have a dance emote. Its usually /dance. So far I think my favorite was Asheron's Call 2.

You had 9 variations of dancing. Then also if you were holding an instrument (which dropped randomly in the world) you had 9 variations of that as well. It was most impressive amounts of emote time wasting. hehehe.

I miss that game. =(

Feeling Poetic.

(for your reading pleasure...today's poetic rants)

I am...giddy with freakish lemons.
To the west...I devote this lint as it is cast upon the wind.
Long live the queen.

Oh to the violence that boils within me,
may the peace and creativity of the light seduce me.
I am great, and I am broke,
but never poor.
Zero does not always mean nothing,
and often I find charity in that fact.

Stares in disbelief...

Its still not sitting well with me, and hard to type out. A friend passed away this weekend, and I can't put my feelings on it into words. For those of you that are friends with her, you have my condolensces, and I wish there was more I could do to help you feel better. There is now this hole in our lives. One where she used to be. I looked at her desk at work yesterday, and it took everything I had to fight back the emotions that nearly overwhelmed me.

For those of you reading this post, my friend who's blog is linked on my site as "Baby-Eater" got into a vehicular accident this weekend and did not survive. Death takes the greatest of things from us. It takes our friends, and family, which are truelly the only things of real value in this world. In this age we have the unique opportunity to read through her blog...litterally an online journal of who she was when she was allive, and we get to celebrate her life. Lets take advantage of that, and remember her for her life, and in the next to come, celebrate being reunited.

I can't really say anymore. ...End of line.

Role Reversal

Okay guys..I thought I was supposed to be stalking you?

In the last month (period of 30 days, not necessarily the period designated on the calendar) i've been reunited with 2 of my best friends from high school. (yes..I consider my ex-girlfriend to be one of my best friends, we had a wonderful time together as friend, etc, despite how that relationship fluxuated)

I recently was contacted my another buddy of mine that I went to school with. I haven't seen him in like five or six years or something silly like that.

You know you are friends with someone not because they make it a point to call you all the time, but when years apart they still think about you, and want to know you more. and vice versa.

You are all important to me. =) *okay..that is as mooshy as I get...now go back to playing with the red button!!!*

Now for something completely different

My website seems...fixed. I have no idea how. Oh well.

I went to Nine Inch Nails last night. As can be expected it was a very moving experience. I haven't seen Trent Reznor live since 1994 with David Bowie. He's bald now...and its very hot! ;)

Now...instead of asking me questions...go click the red button!

wow...that broke my site?!?

DEATH TO MY LIVER!!!

...so i'm fiening this morning really badly. I've been taking too many pain killers lately, and they don't really do much for the whole "slipped disk of doom" that causes the preasure in my head to skyrocket.

So I stopped taking them all together. Cold turkey sux. You never quite realize how bad it can be until you've become dependent on narcotics, and then just stop. I can't imagine what my dad would go through if he ever was rid of his migrains/headaches and stopped.

Yesterday I had taken over 32 IBprofen, and about 40mg of Hydrocodone (lortab). Who needed a liver anyway right? The sad part is that isn't my record...or even close to my record. Not that I want to push yesterdays dosage anyway though.

So...as of today...no more. I have ice packs for my head (the natural way to numb myself...and it doesn't make me stupid!).

I swear I answered everything honestly. This is really funny!!!! I wasn't trying to be evil..I just am! w00t!!!



How evil are you?

Look at that, another rabbit!

I think I lost count at 5000. That would be how many bunnies i've killed in World of Warcraft. I just randomly use a wand, rifle, or instant casted spell to annihilate thier little furry existence. Although technically they aren't furry at all. They are pixelated.

I've revamped my warcraft guild. Iron Alliance will be dedicated solely to DDO, and now Void Werks is the new warcraft.

"Um..what is Void Werks, and why did you spell it with an 'e'."

Void Werks is a concept that one tends to lean toward "pro-oblivion" in the context that maybe the burning legion is right, and some worlds just need to be blasted to small bits of space dust. Only the strong will survive and become powerful enough to shift thier soon to be immortal bodies into the Twisting Nether and join the rank and file of the demons.

Mind you...this is all in game RP rubbish. Sadly the developers will never allow any PC to become "honored" or even "neutral" with the burning legion or any of its many factions.

But one can hope.

As for the spelling of "werks". Its usually used in context to "making something". So to say Iron Werks would be a term for a foundry or a forge. Void Werks means we make lots of destruction for the ...you know i'm not even going to back on that tangent. You'll figure it out.

We are of course still alliance. I have dedicated my level 60 warlock to Power Leveling all my roomies. They are half way to 60 (over half actually). Then ...the raiding of molten core shall begin.

...and just then a tiny little dot caught my eye.

Today is kinda hellish. Woke u pwoth a really really bad migrain. I'm typing this with my eyes closed currently. (So excuse grammatical errors please). Although i'm in hell, I do hope you are all having a goo dweek. The weekend is almost here. Nothing else really to yack about, oh...except I scrapped my warcraft guild Iron Alliance (IA still exists in DDO but at this point I don't think i'm gonna have much involvement with that).

The new warcraft guild is called Void Werks. Think "addicted to magic" "burning legion's bitches". hehehe.

Clinking of the Glasses

So there I am reading my favorite web comic and I see that one of the writers had an anniversary with his wife. They had a hotel room to themselves, and the kid was with a sitter. What do they decide to do?

Raid Molten Core.

For those of you not in the know, Molten Core is a high end dungeon in an online game called World of Warcraft.

He also used his Mac to make a romantic photo gallery website about thier anniversary. WTF!?!

I'm a nerd. I love warcraft, and my other half plays it with me. But damn! If you get away from the kid for even a day....get the fun stuff out and ...get laid!!!!

Okay...now that I have that out of my system. I think its still kind of romantic they play games together and have such an amazing relationship.

By the way..if any of my readers wish to know more about World of Warcraft, there are a few links within this post that will provide important information about the game. =) You can always email me for more info or post here requesting it.

(Digital Crack Dealer)

LOOK OUT! ïòð

Jeremy is a radioactive squirrel!!

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Moo, yes...that's right. Moo.

Monday is over with. Its Tuesday now. Twice fold does the sun shine, and the moon gleam.

March 14, 2006

It's time to let your defenses down and let that certain someone know exactly how much you care, or you could inadvertently hurt their feelings. Learn from the past -- most importantly, heal from it.

Not a big fan of horoscopes, but i'll chalk that one up to just plain good advice. =)

So i've had this odd premonition the last week. Its gotten stronger and stronger until the point where yesterday I was up at 3am (its rare they ever wake me up at night like that). Some people just have an impact in my life, and no matter how much time has passed apart, I always think of them.

First Love.
This often brings to mind a puppy's crush, or teenage sweethearts. Push that asside. We got over that along time ago. What i'm refering to is the epiphany of realizing who you really first loved, and that it was an unconditional love. The kind that binds you to a person of your own free will. Not some kind of strange obsessive freakish stalker craziness.

Its more of the love that "This person will always have a special place in my heart, and I wish them only the best no matter what path they choose in life." So they could call you up at 2am and say "Hey, I'm bored and feel like waking you up at 2am." and you really don't have a problem with that. Hell, you even doing bitch about it later (how many friends can you say you could do that for?), but sadly that whole "lack of sleep" thing still catches up eventually. Bleck.

So there I am, up at 3am, and I see an email. "Someone in myspace sent you an email" and I feel drawn to it (damn the corporate machine!!!!). I open it, and login to myspace (OMG they weren't running maintenance at 3am?!?). There she is. Out of the friggin blue. Depicted as one of the kewlest anime characters ever created (Integra Hellsing), and just....there. BAM! (thanks Emeril)

Now of course this morning i'm stil up at the buttcrack of well before dawn even thinks of happening, but for those of you that don't know, this is when I normally get up for work. If all goes well, that won't last long and i'll be waking up much later. I am trying to get promoted. (those of you that pray to whatever you pray to, do so please..I could use it)

So i'll end this morning with Moo. Its better than bugawk, and less terrible then quack.

Moo.

It's all about Stephanie

So i've realized the growing trend of negative posts on my blog. I don't seem to have much "good news" to report. I'll admit, I use this online journal as a vent most of the time. Either way though i'd like to have an equal combination of good and bad, and everything in between. That way people aren't going "I need a dose of angst...lets read Jeremy's blog today".

So today's blog is about Stephanie. She's the roomie of my friend Jeremy. This awesome girl has skillz in massage therapy. She's also one of your modern day wicca practitioners, and has a way of just uplifting the spirit of the room she walks into. (and yes...sometimes she does walk "into" the room. hehehe)

Clutsiness asside, she's an amazing woman that is good at cutting to the point, and getting to the heart of the matter. I'm allowed no quarter if i'm in a crappy mood, and she's not satisfied until i've pulled my head out of my ass, and have a smile on my face.

Thank you for being a friend Stephanie. You r0xX0rz!!!

Squishy!!!!

So yesterday I was driving in Henderson. As I came up to the intersection of Green Valley Parkway and Pebble Road this small white car pulls into the intersection in front of me.

Everything slowed down. I never lose control (this is a blessing and a curse at times, and the source of much anxiety). I was able to swerve my car and impact more of the front section of his car and miss the passenger door. Good thing too since he had 3 children in the car...oh and he was a child too. Driver's permit, and no licensed person in the vehicle.

I watched the front of my car hit and then BAM...the slowness was gone. My airbag exploded and burned my arm and impacted my head (much better than the stearing wheel). I'll never think of airbags as baby killers again. I'm sooo thankful for them. I hit that car at 45mph (no time really to even hit the break, it happened that fast) was able to jerk the wheel to angle the car, but had that airbag not gone off, I don't think the seat belts would have been enough to stop me from getting seriously injured.

My passenger was uninjured as well. We were shaken, but not stired. So I get out of my car. The entire front of my car is an accordian, and i'm facing almost the other direction (I bounced). The other car was able to pull onto Pebble, and has a messed up tire, and the frame around it. Not much else is wrong with it. Nobody in thier car was injured.

Thier "mother" showed up later while we waited for the police to show up. Some paramedics were at the starbucks across the street and heard the impact. They came over and blocked up the street for us, and made sure we were alright. They also prevented the little delinquent from fleeing the scene (not that his car would have made it far to begin with). The mother had the nerve to say "Maybe I should have said I was in the car." Instead she was at work, and told her son to drive illegally to pick up his sister. I hope she gets a nasty judge that holds her more accountable for that situation.

She has the same insurance company as me, but my car is now sitting in the henderson tow yard. Its innoperable and completely smooshy. I'm really sore, but alright for now. I have a docs appointment monday. My migrain isn't back (thank god) but I have a headache, and my left shoulder is really sore. I am just thankful I was able to walk away from that. I drove my roomies car this morning to work. I refuse to let fear drag me down, and was able to drive well and still felt comfortable with being behind the wheel.

So much for me getting off my hydrocodone. =/ Now its keeping my head sane again. Between my headache and my shoulder, work would suck this morning, but insteads its all tollerable.